bravo Andy Rooney

60 Minutes Correspondent Andy Rooney (CBS)
 
As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
當我年紀越來越大的時候﹐我更加尊重和重視超過40歲的女人 。原因如下。

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.
超過40歲的女人不會在三更半夜把妳吵醒然後質問你'妳到底在想什麼?‘。她根本不在乎妳在想什麼。

If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.

超過40歲的女人如果不想看球賽﹐她不會繼續坐著邊看邊牢騷。她會做一些她想做得事情﹐很多時候都是比較有趣的事情。

Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.
40歲以後的女人是有尊嚴的。他們很少在劇院還是高級餐廳裡跟你提高嗓子爭吵。當然﹐如果你是該死的﹐他們絕對不會'口'下留情﹐而且是在確定自己可以安然退身的前提下。

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.
比較年長的女性不會吝嗇於讚美的話﹐很多時候都是不值得稱讚的。他們知道不被珍惜的感受。

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.
這個時候的女人都有通靈的能力。你根本不需要對超過40歲的女人懺悔你犯的錯。

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
當你開始有皺紋的時候﹐一個超過40歲的女人比年齡更小的同性更加性感。

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
年長的女人都坦率和誠實。她們會直接說你是個渾蛋如果你真的活脫像一個渾蛋。(((哈哈﹐後面這句話不會翻﹐誰要幫忙呀)))

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons.
是的﹐我們稱讚超過40歲的女人﹐因為很多很多的原因。

Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal.
很可惜﹐這不是互相的。

For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress.
每個非常漂亮動人﹐聰明﹐裝扮得體﹐火辣的40歲女人﹐總會有個頂著大肚腩的廢物穿著黃色褲子﹐在一個22歲的年輕侍者面前表現的很智障。

Ladies, I apologize.
女士們﹐我道歉。

For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?", here's an update for you.
對於那些說出這種評論的男人,"為什麼要買一頭牛當你可以得到免費的牛奶?",這裡有一個修正。

Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why?
現在有80%的女人反對結婚。為什麼?

Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage! 
因為女人發現為了一條香腸買下一條豬是非常不划算的。

哇哈哈。。。我看到後面這句話差點沒笑死。